The Life of a Writer

Alone.
It’s your cup of choice.
Later, others will be involved.Life of a Writer
Much later.
When there’s something to see.
When’s there’s something exciting.
But not now.

Alone. You create a conversation.
To make intangible, tangible.
It’s your life.
Word after word after word.
Hoping the pages catch fire.
Hopefully…
Match after match.
Lit.
But not lighting.

You have to ask questions that no one will ask.
You have to see how no else sees.
You have to risk comfort to define the uncomfortable.
You have to fall to your knees, when everyone’s standing.
You have to get on tippy-toe, when everyone’s taking cover.
You have to go there, not knowing where there is.
You have to write and write and write
Only to delete and delete and delete.

Progress not in pages.
But in sparks.
Each match that burns,
Each word that falls flat.
Taking you closer.

To that sentence that smolders.
That paragraph that begins to catch.
The page that people will truly see.
The piece that changes something…
In you.
And in those who read.

Because they’ve seen the spark.
They’ve felt the same heat.
They’ve had the same thirst.
You give them a glass of water.

Your fingers burnt and blistered.
In pockets.
Only you know.
Hundreds of used matches.
One catches fire.

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Posted in Keep on Keeping on, Life of a Writer, Me and My Career | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

Twentysomething Terrible Job Contest


Worst Job Ever

IF YOU’RE A TWENTYSOMETHING, chances are you’ve had a terrible job (or two), (or three), (or four….)

Before I graduated college, I made fun of all those unfortunate twentysomethings working in lifeless, listless, and pointless jobs.

Until that unfortunate twentysomething was me.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Completely assured that the red carpet would precede and direct all my steps, I thought the only problem after college would be picking which amazing job offer I took. Like five popular girls all asking me to go to prom. Unfortunately, like high school, all those amazing opportunities somehow lost my number.

CALL CENTER CRISIS

The only difference between Hell and a Call Center is the phones. (Unless the devil is sporting a cell these days).

At 7:00 am my day on the phone would begin. And like clockwork, an angry New Yorker would be on the other line.Yelling at me for their internet problems, the cold weather, and their failed marriage.

Sir, I’m not sure how your Internet account as anything to do with your wife cheating on you…

Wading through a pool of expletives, I’d solve their account problems, fix their marriage, and type notes in the system all at the same time.  Because once I hung up, the phone would start ringing again – an irate Bostonian just waiting to take out their hour hold time, on the most obvious choice.

For eight straight hours, five days a week, this was my life – the phone my mortal enemy.

TIMED BATHROOM BREAKS

To make things even better, every second at the job was timed. From lunch to going to the bathroom. A matter of minutes, making the difference between an excellent employee and a poor one.

An excellent employee shows up to work on time every day. An average employee shows up 1-4 minutes late. A poor employee shows up 5 minutes late or more. In our eyes, that’s just as bad as not showing up at all. Do it more than twice and you’ll be fired.

An excellent employee spends 2 to 4.6 minutes in the bathroom a day. An average employee spends 4.6 to 7.2 minutes in the bathroom. And a poor employee spends 7.2 or above.

They literally broke down bathroom breaks into decimals! I couldn’t eat Mexican food anymore, because a lengthy trip to the loo could’ve cost me my job.

TWENTYSOMETHING TERRIBLE JOB CONTEST

A call-center is definitely one of my twentysomething terrible jobs. What’s yours?  Please share. Let’s see who takes the prize. Those pointless jobs definitely feel much more meaningful, when you can laugh at them later.

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Posted in Is There More Than This?, Is this the Real World?, Me and My Career, Quarter Life Questioning, The Awkward of Work | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Paradox of Paradise

Paradise seems pretty straight-forward. It’s paradise. What’s so paradoxical about that?

Golden Gate Park

As I walked through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, nothing seemed paradoxical at all. The grandeur of the place was almost overwhelming: the trees, scents, waterfalls, and landscape all seemingly imported from another world. As I walked through paths like a child discovering colors, I could not imagine a much more beautiful place.

Blossoming Flowers

Cross at Golden Gate Park

That was, until I went to the restroom.

Ripe and blossoming with stench, it appeared men had closed their eyes and starting spinning just as they started to do their thing. It was like Dodgers Stadium had made a deal and traded one of its restrooms to Golden Gate Park for a couple palm trees. Why is it at the most beautiful places, sometimes have the most disgusting bathrooms?

Bathroom

Taken back by the sharp contrast, I hurried to the nearest flowerbed to fill my senses again with all that is good. As I looked down, I was surprised by another paradox.

Tracking Chips
Surrounded by serenity, apparently immorality still existed.

PARADOX

As I walked through this park of paradoxes, I started thinking that if filth can exist amongst such beauty, than the flip-side must also be true: beauty must also be found in the ugly. In those moments that seem so dark and dingy, there must be glimmers of light, if we choose to look for them. In the trash heaps, flowers must grow.

Beauty and filth never exist void of the other. There is beauty all around us. And there is ugliness. There is healing. And there is pain. Manure is poured all around so that a garden can grow. Death and life can be seen in the same plant, on the same day. The choice is up to us which we’ll choose to see.

Falling Flowers

And I think; we need to see both. In this paradox of paradise that we call Earth, we can’t hide our eyes from either side. Because  both the beauty and the ugly are real, and both have something to teach us. Each side declares something about redemption, in their own way. The dirty bathrooms and the blossoming flowers.

“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”  ~ Fredrick Buechner

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Posted in Paradox | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Are You Good at What You’re Good At?

Ricky Bobby - Excellent

Are you so bent on self-improvement that you forget about the parts that are already improved? I know I do. If we are going to be truly honest with ourselves, we must put both our weaknesses under the microscope, as well as our strengths.

Sounds easy enough? Well, where do you excel the most? Are you utilizing these strengths at work? At home?

As I began to wrestle with these questions, I realized I knew less about what I was good at, then where I was lousy. Weird. You would think knowing what you are talented at, and then building upon those talents would be as simple and straightforward as a chef baking a pie. But how many of us must give ourselves permission to be truly talented at something? We spend so much time trying to bring that “D” up in math, we forget about the “A” in English.

“Each person’s greatest room for growth is in the areas of the person’s greatest strength” (Marcus Buckingham).

We must extend credit to ourselves where credit is due, than take time to build on those talents. It is in those places where we already feel the most apt, that we will actually approve upon the most and be able to make the biggest contributions. It is also in those places where your actions will make you feel the most alive. Instead of consistently beating ourselves up for where we fall short, what if we consistently built upon a strong foundation laying right in front of us.

“Building on your strengths isn’t necessarily about ego. It is about responsibility” (Marcus Buckingham).

Growing up in a Christian subculture where there is much more emphasis placed on being sufficiently cloaked in humility, it is hard to train myself that it is all right to build on my strengths. I think many Christians, myself included, immerse ourselves in a false-humility where we feel like we should never feel too good about ourselves, lest we be judged.

God has made me very specifically though, with distinct strengths and talents. Therefore, by failing to build on what he has given, am I not then failing to worship him by best utilizing his design?

Only by operating out of authentic personal being will I be able to offer sustaining, nourishing substance to others, as well as myself.

So what are my strengths? What are your strengths?

Be honest with yourself – the bad as well as the good. It’s freeing.

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Posted in Fail Proof Your Twenties, Know Thyself, Quarter Life Questioning | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments
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