I don’t know about you, but I can’t say my twenties have exactly been a roaring success. There have been sprinkles of achievement sure, but not the random-people-hoisting-me-up-on-their-shoulders-like-a-quarterback-who-just-won-the-Super-Bowl success, like I’d imagined.
However, when people give me the five quick answers that are supposed to make me that overwhelming success over night, I become a tad nauseous.
Yes, just follow these five steps and you’ll make thirty thousand more, get fifteen new best friends, find ultimate fulfillment, and re-grow long, flowing locks of hair.
I hate when five things become carte blanche.
THE SECRET
That’s why when giving you the secret of how to completely avoid failure in this decade seemingly smothered in it, I’m not going to give you five easy answers.
No, I’m going to give you just one.
Makes sense.
So without further ado…. drum roll please……To fail-proof your twenties…..
Fail, but never define any thing as a failure.
BAM! Done! Where’s my fee?
I’M SERIOUS
I first wrote about the importance of this in my Top Five Things You Should Hear in a Graduation Speech, but Won’t, and it’s still something I, and maybe you, need to hear over and over and over and over.
Whatever mistake. Whatever wrong turn. Whatever set back. The business that went belly-up. The relationship that died like a salmon on a summer sidewalk. The amazing investment opportunity that fell like a tree during a lumberjack competition. These events are only failures, if we make them such.
Sure the details haven’t turned out the way you planned. But honestly (and I say this as nicely as possible), your plans weren’t that good to begin with. If things lined up like the dominoes that you envisioned, you wouldn’t have had one ounce of conflict, of struggle, of growth for the next 20-30 years.
We need the failure, hardships, and trials to persevere through. Failure is a necessary part of success. But we will not actually do any thing, if we first do not learn how to fail without labeling ourselves a failure.
PICK YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Make plans, have goals, dream dreams, yes and yes.
But get ready when the pick your own adventure, picks you instead.
Sure people are still not carrying you around like a war-hero coming back to the States.
Fine.
Sure your bank account is not the Duck Tales gold coins swimming pool.
Maybe someday.
But I fully realize now the only real failure of our 20’s, would have been if we never had any.
10 Comments
Yes! Please remind me of this at least once a week. Really though…
Done! Well maybe next once a week because you might get a little annoyed…”Great Paul’s calling me again…”
I just started on a new “goal” of mine and I have a lot of fear about exactly what you were talking about, failure. I have fear I am going to look dumb and people are going to think I am dumb. Worse yet, I have fear I am going to be the next kid hung from the fence by my Ninja Turtle under pants. Thanks for the advice (and the encouragement) as it has given me resolve to keep on keepin’ on. I can not wait until I turn 30, it will be The Decade of Pure Success.
Adam. Right on. If you do get hung by your Ninja Turtle’s, I’ll come and help you down.
Yes to Our Thirties! Were will be just sipping Mai Thai’s down by the pool all day with no problems other than what sun block we’ll use that day.
People these days already think they’re entitled to something, everything, just because they’re here. And now they think that failure just doesn’t apply to them?? We don’t need them thinking they’re always RIGHT too! AAAHHH!!! I’m gonna hole up on top of a mall a la Dawn of the Dead and start picking them off… one by one…. hee hee hee!
Kudos to you for good advice!
Sami, yes we are definitely the Get-IT-NOW Generation through and through. We have watched our parents be extremely successful and think the red carpet should be rolling out to us at any second. Thanks for the comment**
** Paul and graduwait.com do not endorse going Dawn of the Dead on any age group, no matter how annoying they might be
This is so right, Paul. Thank you.
There is a category of us who are heavily, heavily aware of our failures. Mine from even the last 2 years are mountainous. There are some of them who’s effects may last for years and years, if not a lifetime.
I have not been paralyzed by these failures. But, I feel it would be wrong on a number of levels not to DEFINE them as failures. Some of them were failures of circumstance. Others were failures for how I responded to those circumstances. All of them have left people picking up the pieces.
How would you recommend applying your advice to these?
Yes I think you’re right Mike. There is a sense of honesty in just admitting when we screwed up or things just went 180 degrees opposite the direction we wanted them to go. Never taking ownership to these would a mistake.
When labeling them as complete failures though, the word seems to have a sense of finality to it. Like that experience is completely over and done with and I blew it and now I’m on to the next thing to see if I can screw that up too. But even that “failure” is over, there will be another situation with similar characteristics down the road with probably even higher stakes. The story is ongoing. So how can we label something as a failure when it could have huge positive ramifications later in our life because of what we learned from it. My thoughts on it at least.
I fully believe the twenty-something years are a great way to become “battle-tested”. The worst crime of this decade in our lives is to wake up at 30 wondering why we hadn’t pushed ourselves.
Timoteo. Completely agree. It’s so easy to stay on the couch. So easy to remain comfortable. I have to fight it every day.
Thanks for stopping by.