Have you ever heard a line so cherry that you just wanted to take a bite out of it?

Well when I heard an 88 year old woman named Gladys Hardy on The Ellen DeGeneres Show say, “I love Jesus but I drink a little,” for me, the rest was TV/Biblical history.

Now you can buy an I Love Jesus but I Drink a Little t-shirt or even sport the I Love Jesus but I Drink a Little beer cozy, just like the disciples had at the last supper. When Zondervan comes out with the I Love Jesus but I Drink a Little NIV Study Bible, I’m putting it on my Christmas list. 

Thank you Gladys. I wish some others who love Jesus were as funny and honest as you. 

PASTOR, WHATCHUSAY?!

Have you ever gone to church and just wished that the pastor would just shock every body with an amazingly true statement? “Thank you choir for leading that heartfelt version of Amazing Grace. Now if you’d all open your Bibles and join with me in a sermon I’ve titled I Don’t Understand 3/4th’s of the Bible Either? 

Or if the pastor got up and said, “I know you don’t want to be here. God knows, God really knows, that I don’t want to be here. So how ’bout you guys just give your offering checks now and we’ll end this thing 50 minutes early? C’mon who’s with me?! I got a football in my trunk. How about a game of 500 in the park? 

THE TWILIGHT ZONE

Sometimes when I step into church I feel like I’ve entered some-sort of problem-free-parallel universe where every one’s so hyped up on a concoction of coffee, Winchell Donuts, and Jesus that there’s not a cloud, drop of rain, or pollution in the sky.

But there’s going to be a poisonous haze covering us when we walk outside, so is ignorance really bliss here or should we actually be talking about the problem and then figuring how to fix it?  

I mean we all have problems, don’t we? None of the church-goers, the pastor definitely included, are immune to them? If we are problem-free, why are we going to church in the first place? We should just be holding service in our living room, anointing people from the leaky faucet in the kitchen. 

So maybe at church, we should talk about, you know, what’s really going in our lives. Maybe we should just let our hair down a little and get our hands a little dirty.

Heck, I’d love to walk into a church and have the guy at the door say, “Welcome to New Faith Community Church. We all love Jesus and we all drink a little. Come right in.” 

Any body else think these kind of, I-wish-someone-would-just-say-it-like-it-is, thoughts at church? Or is it just me?