IF YOU’RE A TWENTYSOMETHING, chances are you’ve had a terrible job (or two), (or three), (or four….)

Before I graduated college, I made fun of all those unfortunate twentysomethings working in lifeless, listless, and pointless jobs.

Until that unfortunate twentysomething was me.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Completely assured that the red carpet would precede and direct all my steps, I thought the only problem after college would be picking which amazing job offer I took. Like five popular girls all asking me to go to prom. Unfortunately, like high school, all those amazing opportunities somehow lost my number.

CALL CENTER CRISIS

The only difference between Hell and a Call Center is the phones. (Unless the devil is sporting a cell these days).

At 7:00 am my day on the phone would begin. And like clockwork, an angry New Yorker would be on the other line.Yelling at me for their internet problems, the cold weather, and their failed marriage.

“Sir, I’m not sure how your Internet account as anything to do with your wife cheating on you…”

Wading through a pool of expletives, I’d solve their account problems, fix their marriage, and type notes in the system all at the same time.  Because once I hung up, the phone would start ringing again – an irate Bostonian just waiting to take out their hour hold time, on the most obvious choice.

For eight straight hours, five days a week, this was my life – the phone my mortal enemy.

TIMED BATHROOM BREAKS

To make things even better, every second at the job was timed. From lunch to going to the bathroom. A matter of minutes, making the difference between an excellent employee and a poor one.

An excellent employee shows up to work on time every day. An average employee shows up 1-4 minutes late. A poor employee shows up 5 minutes late or more. In our eyes, that’s just as bad as not showing up at all. Do it more than twice and you’ll be fired.

An excellent employee spends 2 to 4.6 minutes in the bathroom a day. An average employee spends 4.6 to 7.2 minutes in the bathroom. And a poor employee spends 7.2 or above.

They literally broke down bathroom breaks into decimals! I couldn’t eat Mexican food anymore, because a lengthy trip to the loo could’ve cost me my job.

TWENTYSOMETHING TERRIBLE JOB CONTEST

A call-center is definitely one of my twentysomething terrible jobs. What’s yours?  Please share. Let’s see who takes the prize. Those pointless jobs definitely feel much more meaningful, when you can laugh at them later.

What is vocation? What is calling? Both are such broad terms they could fill an entire canvass with a faint beige – you know it’s there, but can’t really see it.

I really struggled out of college trying to find my “calling” and my life’s vocation, a search that kept ending in frustration and dead-ends. It seemed my calling was a box full of jagged puzzle pieces that didn’t fit together.

But over the course of this last year, now four years since I walked that graduation stage, I’m realizing that “vocation does not come from willfulness, it comes from listening” (Parker Palmer). Vocation comes from understanding what the everyday details of our lives are shouting. Vocation is so much larger than a job, more complex than a title, more intrinsic than a name that someone else gives us. Vocation is not based on a job, it is based on our deeply rooted identity; on a specific name that was woven into the fabric of our being from before we were even a blip on our mother’s radar (Jeremiah 1:15).

CALLING AND VOCATION DEFINED

To live our vocation, is to live an intrinsic calling that transcends circumstance. “Experiencing and living by a calling provides a fundamental orientation to everyday life” (Banks and Stephens). We must reorient our ideas that calling is only met through a specific activity or role in this world. Our calling will include roles and activities, yes, but it is so much greater, fuller, and richer. Calling and vocation is your entire life, not just a portion of it.

Fulfilling our callings does not need to be grandiose to be worth meeting. It does not need to be saving millions of lives to be worthy of our efforts. The best-served vocation is simply where “your deep gladness and the world’s hunger meets” (Buechner). A simple definition, yet so complex in this increasingly changing and moving world.

To begin down the path of vocation we must begin by asking the right questions of ourselves, to discover the right answers. We must tell ourselves the truth of whom we are, and who we are not, if we are to live out the freeing reality of our true life’s vocation. A job can’t answer these questions for you or me.

MY LIFE’S CALLING

Therefore here’s my calling. To be a man who lives with passion from his passion, inhaling God’s breath to breathe into others through my words, my writing, my leadership, my influence, my time, my resources, my prayers, and my whole being; a breath as powerful and life-giving as giving someone mouth to mouth.

In whatever job, no matter how mundane or grandiose, in whatever niche I occupy on this Earth, this is my calling.

What’s your calling?

Any ideas?

Have you ever walked into your office and your co-workers are just so excited it’s Monday they’re skipping through the halls like seven-year-olds at a chocolate factory? 

Yeah...me neither. If my 8:00 AM was met with Monday morning praises ringing through our halls, I’d probably be wondering what every body was really putting in their coffee mug.

MONDAY’S TRACK RECORD

When I was twelve years old (and not exactly fond of middle school) those last fleeting hours of Sunday felt incredibly nauseating; like I was eating five Big Mac’s while simultaneously riding on a Tilt-o-Wheel.

Since I’ve joined the World of Employeedom, many Monday’s have been met with that same 12-year-old-I’m-going-throw-up, feeling. But not all.

Some Monday’s have been met with  ambivalence. Other Monday’s anxiety, some annoyance,  and then some with a true sense of fulfillment and excitement.

However, if I had to make a five-year tally of where Monday stood, I’d say I’ve had many more Office Space Monday’s than not. 

I mean come on, I haven’t seen people clamoring to join the I Love Monday Facebook group. Monday morning is rarely anyone’s best friend, companion, or even estranged acquaintance.  Instead, for most of us, it seems Monday is a mortal enemy who delights in tormenting with it’s start-of-the-week pain. No matter how hard you try to escape its clutches or cover your tracks, Monday finds you every single time.

MONDAY, WHY DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL THE WAY I DO?

Now is my lack of Monday morning excitement just a case of a bad attitude, or is it the fact that my Monday, than Tuesday, etc, etc, is not fully what I want to be doing with my life? While I know there’s many Monday’s I have chosen to make terrible, I also think how a person feels on this special day is a pretty accurate signifier on whether or not their job is aligning with their life’s strengths, dreams, and goals.  

THRILLED IT’S  MONDAY

I mean what if you and I lived in this crazy world where our Monday’s were met with sheer excitement? What if our job was so deeply fulfilling that on Sunday we could hardly wait to go to bed, just so Monday could arrive?

While this kind of Monday anticipation might seem a little unbelievable, I want my Monday’s to be met with unbridled expectation. Not a superficial feeling that I have to talk myself into, but a deep knowing that each Monday is a readily open door to my purpose.

Monday should be the next step, a hill worth climbing, not this sinking, inescapable pit. 

HERE’S TO MONDAY

While I understand that no matter how fulfilling my job, there will always be those Monday’s when my snooze button is set on perpetual repeat.

And I understand that no matter the circumstance, each of us has a certain amount of choice to make Monday something to dread or to anticipate.

However, I truly believe that if we were truly walking out our life’s purpose, Monday would be the most anticipated day of our week. And that’s my goal. Anyone with me? 

____

On the scale from 1 to Nauseous, how do you feel most Mondays?

Is the possibility of Monday being the most anticipated day of your week a fool’s dream or an already realized actuality?

Have you ever realized you’re great at telling every body the truth, but yourself? You put others under a powerful NASA microscope and yet when you take a good, hard look at you, it’s from atop the Goodyear Blimp.

I can spot that stray hair on someone’s face, that extreme character flaw that’s holding her back, or that outfit that makes him look a little like Sham00 after eating a school of krill – but when it comes to myself, I tend to plead complete ignorance.

I’m struck with this realization time and time again and yet, just keep on ignoring it. (For obvious reasons, I guess)

DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS?

Why is it so easy to point out the foibles in others, and yet when we look at ourselves we’re like the naive mother who’s son has never done wrong?

Maybe it’s because we don’t want to end our illusion with reality? We’d rather immerse ourselves in a life-long Game of Pretend, than realize what we need to change and how we need to grow.

THAT’S NOT ME

You don’t think that’s you? Well, how many times last week did you think through all the flaws in your co-workers? How many times did you point out all the short-comings in your spouse, brother, father, and then proceede to tell them how they need to change?

How many times, instead of first thinking the problem was with them, did you wonder if maybe the problem was with you?

Because really, it’s probably not really our boss holding us back, or our teacher, or father. It’s us. And as long as we keep blaming the somebody else’s, there will ALWAYS be a scapegoat that’s outward, when it should be in. We want to just roll through our Destiny Drive-Thru, instead of taking the long-road trip of change.

WE NEED TO CHANGE

I keep striving for a place where I don’t need to change. Where I’ve climbed to the right altitude and can just cruise for the rest of my life.

But I’m realizing more and more that there is an inherent, dire importance to continue down the path of change. It’s hiking numerous mountains, each higher peak offering a new perspective. And if I haven’t taken the time to get to know the one person I’ve lived with my entire life, then how will I know which mountain to climb?

LOOK IN THE MIRROR

Like the girl sporting the Tom Selleck mustache or the guy with the never-ending unibrow (I used to be him), just because you want to pretend that no one can see all those hairs, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Maybe it’s time we look in the mirror and start plucking?

Because honestly, the most inconvenient truths, are the ones we won’t tell ourselves.

Any Inconvenient Truths you need to get off your chest right now? Go for it.

“Reality” can be a slap in the face, a splash of cold water, a titty-twister that just won’t let go.  People will say you need a dose of it, but really what reality are we talking about?

REALITY? REALLY?

Maybe you’re like me and your current reality isn’t exactly what you thought it would be.  You have a vision for your life that extends further and farther than the small confines that you feel currently stuck in. But the detours and details of each day, week, and month seem like a quicksand that is sucking you further into a life you never wanted.

The reality of the now, feels like it will be inescapable later.

ONE OF THOSE FRIENDS

Do you ever hang out with one of those strange, confused people who never seem phased by their current situation? They lost their job, dog, and favorite pair of sunglasses all in the same week and yet they still have an actual smile on their face ? An authentic-I’m going to be fine-look.  A smile that you partially want to just smack off because how can they be doing OK, when NBC canceled your favorite TV show three weeks ago and you’re still trying to recover.

WHAT’S THEIR PROBLEM?

This strange, weird person’s reality seems different than what is currently happening in their life. Their hope is not based on external problems, but on something internal,  something permanent, something based more in the future,  than what’s currently going on in the present. (I have a love/hate relationship with these kind of people too)

WHAT IS YOUR REALITY?

So maybe the current situation you’re in, really isn’t the dose of reality you need. Maybe you need to take a huge spoonful of a truer reality based on the dreams and vision inside of you. Maybe where you are headed is more important than where you are at. Maybe it’s simply a choice each of us makes.  Which reality is more real?

I have a really hard time seeing past the present reality to what I feel is my future. Am I the only one? Does this resonate with any one else?

My heart sank. There I was, sitting across from a counselor because I’d finally come to grips that my problems needed a professional and she starts feeding me a Bible Verse Band Aid of Be content in all circumstances. She might have just started singing Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so… That will be a $100 please.

Did I really need to learn to be content in a job I knew I needed to leave?

To Be Content or to Be Discontent

Have you ever felt that you needed a big change without any substantial evidence to back that feeling up? That if you presented your case for change in a courtroom, the judge would’ve thrown you out before the opening remarks. There’s no 100% guarantee of a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. Yet you know to not change would be the much bigger mistake. If you didn’t, you would be the employee you work next to who started the process of slow death about ten years ago.

Frustrated? Good!

I asked another church-going woman about all the frustration that I was feeling that just didn’t make any sense, expecting her to respond with a pray more, God is teaching you, etc, etc…

Instead she replied,  “Good! I’m glad you’re so frustrated.”

“Really?”

“Yeah sometimes God will make you so dang frustrated, that you actually have to do something about it! If you were just content with where you’re at, then I’d be worried about you.”

Be Content That You’re Frustrated

Maybe we’ve confused being content in all circumstances to being content with all circumstances. I don’t think God wants you to stay in a terrible situation, whether it’s a job, relationship, place, because he wants you to learn to be content with being miserable. Sure he wants you to find peace, joy, and love in that which is difficult. But he doesn’t want you to remain there forever under the guise of learning.

So if you’re frustrated right now, maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it’s the cattle prod God’s using to move you to the destiny he wants you to walk in.

Or maybe he just wants you to help support your local counselor.

I like these attributes. I think it will propel us to make an important difference in this world.

But we are also proud members of the get-it-now generation. The instant gratification, I-can’t-wait-ten-seconds generation.

After college, I thought I’d just pull up to the Destiny Drive-Thru and place my order, “Yes, I’d like a medium fry, burger with no onions, chocolate shake, and the exact purpose and plans for the next sixty years of my life. Thanks.”

“What? Did you say that would take ten minutes? What kind of operation you guys running here?”

I feel entitled to so much, and expect so little time and struggle to get there.

So after college when the big wasn’t (and still isn’t) happening, I became depressed and confused. I became angry at God for apparently abandoning me, when I was completely ready and willing to do those big things.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin” (Zechariah 4:10). Now looking back at these last couple years after college, how I wish I would have heeded these words. If I could have taken this to heart, really understood just this one piece of advice, the “meaningless” could’ve been wrought with such meaning.

I still want to dream big. But I know better now, to get to the “big” it will take a million times over being faithful in the very small.

Does the switch happen when you get your driver’s license? The first kiss, first shave, the first time you go to a Halloween party instead of trick or treating? At the bar mitzvah, or the non-Jewish equivalent?  First beer, first cubicle, the first time you can rent a car without the added $30 a day fee? The first time you don’t laugh when your Aunt Martha and Uncle Ed talk about their recent trip to Lake Titicaca? I’m not sure.

At twenty-five years old, I know there is an invisible tipping point. Somewhere. Looming. Right under the surface.  My hairs tingling on my arms say it’s stalking me. Watching. Waiting to grab my leg at the first drop of maturity.

Then I will no longer be growing up. Instead I will simply be. No longer able to chalk up mistakes and failures as simply part of childhood adolescence, a part of the learning, growing process. Because at some point the process is over and the grace to mess up is packed away with the baseball cards, G.I. Joes or Barbie dolls.

Then you’re a finished product. Regal and refined, sporting a few gray hairs and the wisdom to go with it. You stand up straighter, comb hair neater, and talk clearer – enunciating with much more enthusiasm and regularity.

No longer Billy, but Bill. No more Tommy, just Tom. Katie is long-gone, now it’s just Kate. Then before you know it, Kate or Tom isn’t even official enough.

No, now, “It’s Ms.”

Or “I’d prefer if you’d call me Mr,” lumping yourself with the grown up ranks.

“Here I stand and Grown Up is my name!”

At twenty-five, married, with quite obvious patches of gray hair, is it wrong I still feel like I’m growing, not grown? What do you guys think?

Are you an adjective or a noun?

Sure, that’s a little over-simplified, a little bleak. But you must understand that I’m secretly writing this right now at work, sitting in my office composed of three shoulder-high, rainy-day-gray cubicle walls. I would be willing to bet that only three percent of all “Cubicle Americans” actually have a positive outlook on life. And half of that three percent are stealing from their company.

A cubicle, as defined by Webster’s, is “a small partitioned space.”

What in the world? Who decided it was a good idea to make real-life human beings spend a vast portion of their lives in “a small partitioned space”?

Humans are not intended to live encased by rainy-day gray walls. We’re not rats. This is not a science experiment. These are lives we’re talking about.

Is it too much to ask for walls that extend all the way to the ceiling? Call me crazy, but I thought that was the defining characteristic of a wall. A piece of padded material that extends only five feet off the ground is less a wall and more a mistake.

Quick question: Do you think a cubicle wall is flammable?

“What in the world happened to Paul’s cubicle?”
“He lit it on fire.”
“Lit it on fire?”
“Lit it on fire.”
“Hmm. That’s a first.”

________

Above is an excerpt from a chapter titled Top Ramen Dreamer in my book titled To Be Determined.

If you want to read the whole chapter, mosey one tab over and Download it.

I promise it will be worth your time. If not, I will give you a 100% refund. Cross my heart, hope to die, etc, etc…